Dear Microsoft
In reviewing our relationship over the past years, it occurs to me that I haven’t been falsely accused of being a thief enough lately. In that regard, rather than spending time, money, or energy developing new features or making the features you have work, I would greatly appreciate it if you could spend time making sure that I haven’t ripped you off.
If possible, it would be best if the new version of the anti-ripoff tool had as many false positives as possible. Also, I’d like it if the tool could be as large as possible and updated as frequently as possible. Finally, every time I download an update from you, including critical security updates, I should need to download a new version of the anti-ripoff tool.
My thinking here is that downloading updates from you isn’t difficult and painful enough, and I don’t yet feel enough of a need to get down on my knees and pray that your update process doesn’t foul up again. Also, the updates I have been downloading are just too darn small, and happen too darn fast.
Anyway, I know that you’ll do what’s right and invest the largest amount of money, time, and effort into the item with the smallest possible return, and the greatest possible annoyances for me, your customer.
Regards
Cecil
PS – I finally figured out all of the differences between the 8 different versions of Windows Vista, the 4 different versions of Office, and the 8 different versions of Windows Server 2008. This is very disappointing! You can do better than that, and I expect to see better from you soon! Why not 78 different editions of each OS and Office suite? That would be much better. I’d never figure out those differences unless I hire a consultant!
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@Cecil, if you’re being falsely accused of having a pirated copy of XP, here’s a patch that will fix just that and stop that annoying WGA (Windows Genuine Advantage) popups: removeWGA. The alternative is Linux, any one of the gazillion distros.